Mi papá insiste en presionarme para hacer cosas que no quiero, cosas que él piensa que me hacen bien. "Salí con esta persona, aunque sea como una gimnasia porque si te quedás encerrada cada vez va a ser más difícil." Yo lo veo al revés. Cuanto más estoy con alguien más difícil se me hace relacionarme con esa persona, no sé porqué, cuanto más hago algo más aburrido se me hace, pocas cosas me interesan, tan pocas que las puedo contar con los dedos de una mano.
Pero no sé qué quiero hacer. No tengo nada que quiera hacer. No tengo un sueño u objetivo.
Tristemente si no tengo algo porqué luchar no veo ningún motivo para hacerlo. ¿Por qué esforzarme tanto para conseguir nada? Es así como lo veo. Y el escuchar a gente hablar de mi como si supiera lo que siento me enferma.
I don't understand most people and it seems that they don't understand me either. They think I don't go to college nor I have a job because of a whim. But the truth is that is hard for me. I find it hard to interact with people. I don't know if it's a social phobia, I don't diagnose myself and any psychologist told me that, but I just know it's very difficult, very painful.
My dad insists on pushing me to do things I don't like, he thinks that those things that are good to me. "Go out with this person, think of this as an excercise because if you stay locked in your room everything is going to be more difficult." I see it in the other way around. The more I'm with someone the harder it makes me to relate to that person, I don't know why, the more I do something more boring it is, few things interest me, so few that I can count it on the fingers of one hand.
I don't know what I want to do. I have nothing I want to do. I have no dream or goal.
Sadly if I don't have something to fight for I see no reason to do anything. Why would I work so hard to get nothing? This is how I see it . And listening to people talk about meas if they knew me makes me feel sick .
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