Melancholy.

There are times when I miss you so, so, so much... 

Then I wonder, how can someone miss something or someone they never had? But I do. I miss the delusion of having you close to me and talk to you, even if it's a meaningless chat, even just 'Hi, how's it going?' 

And it hurts so much not being able to find you when I need you, just as much as it hurts when I feel that I can't be there for you when you may need me. 

Because when I tell you that you make me happy I'm not lying... For whatever reason it is, you do make me happy.